This story first appeared in Times of India Blog
Forget the film that swept the 95th Academy Awards. As far as we are concerned, our two Oscars are everything, everywhere all at once. Of course we’ll make a song and dance about them, especially ‘Naatu Naatu’ which bagged Best Original. Unlike ‘Jai Ho’/ Slumdog Millionaire in 2009, its film is made by an Indian and doesn’t glorify poverty. Btw, Deepika Padukone merely introduced the historic item at the Dolby Theatre, but she got more coverage from media than from her low-and-behold LV gown.
Aamaam, kandipa, we also won the Best Short Documentary award, but how can a Whisperer compete with the rumbustious Telugu refrain which knocked such divas as Rihanna and Lady Gaga off the board. One was left crying, ‘Lift Me Up’; the other ‘Hold My Hand’. Why, even voting slips might join the RRRah-rah and offer ‘Naatu Naatu’ instead of NOTA NOTA.
Both film and song resonate with the current anti-all-foreign-rulers mood; The Elephant Whisperers harmonises with nature and sustainability. These are messages that our PM-ji so winningly scripts at home and abroad. In fact, several other Oscar winners fit our political big screen. For instance, no one sweeps the election-awards like his Bahut Jeeta Party. Isn’t it Everything Everywhere All At Once? Apart from being a vote-blockbuster, it has the Best Director and the Best Supporting Actor. Who cares if Mamata wins the Best Actress Oshcaar? The governing party would rather keep anything remotely Chinese at arm’s length. Or arms’s length.
Coming to the also-rans for Best Film, AAPka Admi is the Maverick. However, no one is quite sure about Rahul’s current Avatar; his leadership style is fluid, like The Way of Water. But his Bharat Jodo Yatra too could win the Oscar for Best Visual Effects.
Considering the shindig (Shindeg?) in Maharashtra over the real Shiv Sena and other wars, there can be no Indian version of All Quiet On The Western Front.
Similarly difficult to adapt would be a simplistic take on Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio. Too many contenders for the puppet-boy whose nose got longer each time he told a lie.
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Alec Smart said: “Same-sex is not shame-sex. It won’t queer our social pitch.”